“I alternate between feeling sympathetic toward humanity and being a misanthrope. When I’m sympathetic, it usually means I haven’t been around people in awhile.”
John R. Lindensmith
There is a farmhouse, a mas, in the countryside some miles outside of Arles. It is not terribly accessible – I only noted it from the elevated aspect of an abandoned railroad embankment that cuts through the rice fields about a kilometer distant. There are no major roads nearby. Other than the gravel-topped and weedy embankment, closed to any traffic save the occasional solitary hiker or emboldened fox, there is the cul-de-sac dirt road that leads to its private drive about a half kilometer the other side from the raised path. It sits in the middle of flat and stretching fields, far from any noteworthy topography. And yet this farmhouse has a hedge. And not just any hedge, but a pretty spectacular one, easily twenty feet high. From my vantage I can’t ascertain what it’s composed of, but it has the dark green of maybe bay laurel, or some kind of cedar, or cypress. It looks to be a perfect square, about 60 meters to a side, you can just make out the gables of a roof appearing over the top. And here’s the thing – when I say ‘perfect square’ I mean ‘perfect’. It has been topiaried to an astounding geometric perfection. All of the faces have been trimmed flat and even, plumb as a brick wall, the top as level as a table. Even the sides facing the embankment where, again, no prying eyes will ever penetrate, are trimmed smooth.
On a subsequent bike ride, I managed to navigate to the access road on the far side, only to find the frontage along the road presents a soaring, impenetrable poplar brake, at least 60 feet high, that further shields the farm from view. This is someone who values their privacy. And is very fastidious. And patient – a hedge this size and density can take several generations to reach this point. Perhaps misanthropy is an inherited trait?
There are scant other clues. Sometimes I hear the faint clarnkeling of sheeps’ bells. Branches of some kind of tree rise from the center of the compound, possibly a small private orchard? I’ve never seen a vehicle exiting or entering the (fairly imposing) gate. Chimney smoke, once. Tempted to walk closer for a better look, maybe ring the bell? There has to be a bell, a place like this would have some kind of weathered, verdigris-encrusted chain to pull. But approach from the embankment would mean cutting across tilled fields; the driveway is a bit too imposing, and though I haven’t seen any yet, the Provençal farmhouse dog is more formidable than any hedge.
There is a life going on inside. There must be an array of equipment simply to keep the hedge in trim. There are meals being cooked, tasks being carried out – if the perfection of the exterior is any indication one could extrapolate an almost manic tidiness. There are mice in the cellar, possibly a cat or three; bats nesting under the eaves and in the hedge, an even more reclusive fox in burrow beneath the woodpile. There is a wall-mounted phone that is rarely used. There’s a record in the dust of generations that brought the farm to this quiet, solitary point. And there is someone – I imagine, rightly or wrongly, a single soul, probably male – puttering around and keeping it just so.
And I think I would never be able to live like that, cut off from the outside, entrenched in my ways, wearing ruts in the floorboards as I inward gaze. Then my phone rings; a number I don’t recognize. I let it go to voicemail.

We used to go around in the bayous of Louisiana, on the North shore of Lake Pontchartrain and, from time to time, come across absolutely isolated but neat and tidy MacMansions. There was really only access by a small paddled boat, or one of those swamp boats that use propellers and move in the top three inches of water, We decided that they were inhabited by people who profited by (and put themselves in danger by being part of ) federal witness protection programs. Really, no access at all and always fastidiously kept! I bet you’ve got some very neat mafioso down the road. Attention!!
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